Blaise Hunter: Hello, welcome to Blaise the Trail Podcast. I’m Blaise Hunter and I am a fertility expert. No, I don’t help people get pregnant. This is a different type of expertise. I actually inspire women to birth confidence to birth their books, business ideas, dreams, passions, and goals, as well as helping them discover peace amongst infertility. After going through my own sets of traumas and tragedies, dealing with a rare disease and experiencing three miscarriages. I decided to take charge of my life and not let life happen to me, but rather become the hero of my own life. I am not barren. I continually birth my purpose every day. So that’s why I’ve created this show–to demonstrate how, even though we all experience setbacks and disappointments, we still have a destiny to birth. We just need to Blaise the Trail, and be expecting. This podcast will inspire you to lean into your hardships and allow them to be the vehicle that transports you into becoming the hero of your life. So you can breathe fire on this world. This week’s episode is called Alternative Pregnancy and some points we’ll cover are
- what building a family journey can look like
- how food for the soul and nutrition can aid in the fertility journey
- and how we can be a surrogate of dreams.
And I have my friend here, September Burton to speak on this topic. September started her career as a us Navy personal chef to four-star admirals stationed in Sicily, Italy. She has since shared her expertise and passion for nutrition as a recurring guest on KCMJ 93.9 radio show Happy News Now and developed a six week eating for fertility nutrition plan for prospective parents. She is the founder and CEO of 4 Months to Fertile, working with couples and mothers, struggling with primary or secondary infertility. And is the organizer of the first ever Colorado Fertility Conference. September is passionate about living a life of purpose, helping others build and complete their families and sharing her knowledge on the healing power of food.
Welcome September to the show.
September Burton: [00:02:12] Hi Blaise, Thank you so much for having me. It’s such an honor to be on this show with you.
Blaise Hunter: [00:02:18] I’m so excited to speak with you. I love talking about different pockets of being fertile in your life, and you just bring a whole other wealth of knowledge and an Avenue to really dive in deeper and help people and inspire them that they can build their families isn’t that right?
September Burton: [00:02:32] That is correct. And there’s so many different modalities and so many different ways that couples who are struggling can go about trying to have their family. I love your approach of birthing your passions too, so that it goes so much beyond even just the having a baby aspect. I think that women in our day and age need to be taught that we can give birth to so many different things.
Blaise Hunter: [00:03:02] Absolutely. And, you know, being fertile, isn’t just one aspect of our life. We often think just of our reproductive system, but it goes so much deeper than that. And we really need to encompass all of those facets and it doesn’t mean we’re going to be perfectly healthy in all areas, but really focused on not just one area on not just your cycle or something like that. Like nutrition, like your expertise, like your mental health, your joy, all of that kind of brings together how you can be fertile, whether you’re producing a baby or just being fertile in your purpose.
September Burton: [00:03:39] Yeah, absolutely. I completely agree with that. And one of the reasons, for myself, why nutrition became the forefront of the focus of everything that I was doing was because I realized how powerful it is in helping you, like you were saying with your mental health, with your inner strength, I mean, nutrition plays a huge role and you can play with food and you can play with the different energies of food and you can really bring out different aspects of your personality. So it goes so much beyond just nourishing certain organs, nourishing your uterus, improving your egg quality, or your sperm quality or things like that. It actually, you can use it to manipulate the course of your life, really, if you play with the energetics of food. So it’s a beautiful, wonderful thing that I’ve spent I think it has been. I mean, I really started to develop an interest in nutrition when I was about 20, because that’s when I was working as a chef in the Navy. And there was a, the second Admiral actually that I worked for, he was the one that kind of sparked the interest in nutrition for me, because he was extremely health conscious. And I mean to the point where he would wear his running clothes on the airplane. Cause we, I was stationed in Sicily and so we were just flying him all over Europe, you know, not just on short trips. And so, he would wear his running clothes on the airplane, so that as soon as we landed, he could go for a run on the runway. While we were shutting down the plane and cleaning things up and doing all of that stuff. So he wanted to eat healthier food. And so that really was what kind of sparked and got the wheels turning in my head saying, wait a second, I’m supposed to care what the food actually does inside of your body after you eat it.
Because I think in our culture, we’re so conditioned to believe that you just have to make the hunger go away. And then that’s the extent of what food does for you. but he made me start thinking and wondering what actually happens once it gets inside of your body. And so that was a beautiful turning point for me, where I started to wonder about that and started to take control. And then I got out of the Navy and got married and had three children. That third pregnancy was very different from the first two. And so I could tell that something was off in my body and that was, it was when I decided something’s wrong. And I think the nutrition is really going to be the key to fix whatever’s wrong. And so, I started playing with it, but didn’t get serious about it for a long time. Then I went through my recurrent miscarriages, um, and those recurrent miscarriages not being able after having three babies and then not being able to carry another child to term with it, it was devastating and it was a blow and it was like–wait a second. I’ve carried three babies. Why am I all of a sudden not able to have this fourth baby? And so that’s when I really got serious. I had gone to a nutrition school. I had done that. The studying learned everything that I needed to know. And that’s when I said, you know what? I need to use this on me and figure out what’s going on with myself. And so that’s what I did. And that was kind of the beginning a turning point, that and helping other couples to be able to use nutrition to improve their fertility and really overall improve their lives.
Blaise Hunter: [00:07:16] I love it. That, and you made such a great connection between the two. Kudos to you for arriving at that conclusion and really taking a step towards improving the nutrition in your body to make it more fertile and make it open to being healthy. And, I just love, love, understanding food, how we need to have more of a great attitude towards food, because I feel like it all plays a factor when we don’t even think about it when women definitely look at desserts or fattening foods, and we think a toxic thought like, Oh, I’ll gain weight, or I need to hit the gym and that’s poisoning our bodies. So it’s not even just the actual food we’re intaking, it’s, it’s our thought process about it, right? Like it can be toxic and then it’s not just the food that can be harmful because you made it harmful because of your thinking towards that. Don’t you think?
September Burton: [00:08:10] Absolutely. 100%. I think if you’re going to make the decision to eat the chocolate chip cookie or the brownie or the ice cream or whatever, if you’re going to make that choice, own that choice and say, you know what, right now, this is what I want and I’m going to do it. and it’s going to be good for me. And when you think about it differently, it has a different effect on your body. So I’m not saying make that your diet and just go and say, Oh, this is going to be good for me. But what I am saying is if you’re going to make that choice, Own that choice and make it a good decision in this moment in my life, eating this chocolate chip cookie is a good decision and here’s why and be okay with it because there’s nothing wrong with eating, a chocolate chip cookie or something like that. If there are reasons, it’s not wrong. It’s not bad. And you’re so right about those toxic thoughts. So this is going to make me gain weight, or this is going to affect my fertility and make me less fertile or any of those kinds of thoughts that you might be having in the back of your mind let go of those. Be at peace with your decision, if you’re going to do it own it.
Blaise Hunter: [00:09:20] Exactly. I love that. And it’s such a complimentary way to have nutrition. You need the food, like physical food nutrition that you’re just like a health nut and just eat everything healthy, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re nutritious. In your soul food, and you’ve got to balance the mental nutrition and the food nutrition to make your overall body, mind, and soul fertile. And that’s what I’m encouraging. And I know you’re on board with that is like, it’s a whole picture. It’s not just one Avenue of nutrition.
September Burton: [00:09:52] Right. Absolutely. And they’ve actually come out with, there’s an eating disorder now that is overly into the nutrition side of things. One of the things that I realized with my personal journey was that I kind of got into that for a little while where I just, I wouldn’t go out with girlfriends. I wouldn’t do anything. I wouldn’t go to birthday parties because I didn’t want the cake and things like that. And I think that when you take it to that extreme, you’re actually having the opposite effect. It is just as important to have those socialization experiences, because I mean, we’re human beings, we’re social creatures, we’re supposed to be social. And so if it starts to affect your social life, if it starts to affect you in that way, then it’s actually going to start to have the opposite effect. And you’re not actually nourishing your body as much as you think you are.
Blaise Hunter: [00:10:38] Oh, absolutely. So tell me a little bit more about you sparked your interest with your boss there of nutrition and being healthy and fertile and your own journey. What led you to actually dive into a career of that and nutrition, coaching and surrogacy and alternative pregnancy?
September Burton: [00:10:59] It’s one of those being a woman things where when you figure something out for you, you kind of want to go out there and share it with other people. Why wouldn’t I want to take this out and share it with other people who’s out there who were currently struggling? And so that’s really what started to happen. I started to just get a few clients here and there and working with them and it was incredibly effective. It worked for so many people. And I think that part of why it’s so effective it is the fruit aspect. It is playing with, you know, your emotions with food and things like that. And being able to stabilize your emotions when you stabilize your blood sugar and those kinds of things, but it also takes into account your emotional health. And one of the things about working with a coach like me is you get sort of that validation and you get the accountability and you get a lot of the emotional aspects that you’re actually craving too. So there’s a lot more benefit to it than just simply, you know what you’re putting into your body. It’s about working with somebody who can teach you how to love yourself, who can teach you how to have the more positive thoughts and things like that, it’s really, really important.
Blaise Hunter: [00:12:13] Oh, that’s so good. And so what led you to really developing this type of program? Your fertility steps? Like what brought you to that place?
September Burton: So at this point I’m actually a mother of seven. I actually went on to have several more children. And, so developing the six week clean eating program was more so that I could take a little bit of a hands off approach so that the program is out there and people can get the benefits of it but I can also focus on my family and my children.
Blaise Hunter: [00:12:47] Absolutely. That’s so good. And have you found that there’s a more kind of accepted alternative way to look at fertility rather than just going to the fertility clinic, getting your, you know, IVF’s and going there and striking out and having struggles, but then never looking at another Avenue? Like, do you find that you’re getting more and more people open to looking to the nutrition or another side of being fertile in your body?
September Burton: Yeah, absolutely. I think that’s one of the beautiful things about having the internet and having the ability to research and go on social media and connect with other people who are going with the same sorts of struggles that you are is because you get that education piece. And where maybe if you were doing it on your own, you would be going to an IVF doctor who never even mentioned nutrition to you or acupuncture or chiropractic care or your mental health or any of those kinds of things. And so when you have, when we have the internet that people are finding their tribes and people are kind of banding together. So I think that is one of the benefits of that whole deal is you get into that tribe and somebody says, Oh, well, I started eating camu camu berry, and then this happened to me or I started putting maca in my smoothie and then this was the result and I was pregnant three months later or whatever the case may be. So I do think that there is definitely an open-mindedness that’s happening more and more right now. And a lot of different things, not just fertility, but definitely fertility. And that with the Colorado Fertility Conference, that was really my whole intention because I had the wonderful opportunity. At one point to sit down with an IVF doctor from the Ukraine and he told me that the way that they do it in the Ukraine is they have everybody under one roof. They have the chiropractor, the acupuncturist, the nutritionist, the IVF doctor, all of them under one roof.
September Burton: [00:14:40] Because their view on it is when you’re struggling with infertility every moment is precious because you’re, there’s kind of that race against the clock that’s happening. And so here in the States, you get a referral and you might learn a little piece of information here and there, but it takes a lot of time. And you know, the IVF doctors, if they refer out, it takes a lot of time and it adds a lot of time onto your journey. One of the goals and the intentions of the Colorado Fertility Conference was to bring everybody together under one roof. We wanted the couples who were struggling to come and be able to talk to the attorney who does adoption and surrogacy, to the IVF doctor, to the chiropractor, the nutritionist, the functional medicine doctor. We had all of these different practitioners under one roof so that people could get their questions answered and learn about other alternative modalities that are available to them.
Blaise Hunter: [00:15:36] Oh yeah. I love that. I love that we’re working towards that versus segregating each department and not communicating with one another because it all works together. You need all of it to be fertile. And you can’t just have the IVF doctors not talk to your mental health people. It would be wonderful to see that kind of grow as an all encompassing whole organization that’s really looking at all areas of your life being fertile.
September Burton: [00:16:08] Absolutely. And that’s a dream of mine is to open up some sort of a clinic where every practitioner is there under one roof. So it’s in the, my mind as a dream right now. And maybe hopefully one day it’ll actually become a reality.
Blaise Hunter: [00:16:22] Yeah. So let’s talk a little bit about this alternative pregnancy. You did work with Hawaii surrogacy for a while as a caseworker. I feel like a lot of times we talk about IVF and we talk about adoption and different things like that. But I don’t know if surrogacy is really. Quite I’ve taught there as a highlight of a topic of an option of an alternative to building your family. So, what are some, you know, misconceptions or things that we could share about surrogacy that we’ve missed? Or don’t openly talk about?
September Burton: Well, I think you’re absolutely right. Surrogacy is kind of one of those things where it’s, I think everybody feels like that’s for somebody else that’s for them. That was great that it worked for them but that’s for them. And so most people don’t even really consider it as an option for themselves. And that’s one thing that I think we need to break the silence about that. Surrogacy is the right option for anybody who can’t carry a baby themselves for whatever reason. And there are lots of different reasons. I mean, a gay male couple, obviously can’t carry a baby themselves, a woman who simply doesn’t have a uterus, obviously can’t, and there are lots of different conditions that women may have that make it so that they’re just simply not physically able to carry a baby. And so that’s where surrogacy steps in and is a beautiful and wonderful option. So, yeah, women who want to become surrogates, that’s another thing, very, very hot topic. So here in the United States, surrogacy is allowed and you are allowed to be paid and it pays pretty well. Although when you think about what you’re actually going through for the pay that you’re getting, it’s, you’re going through a lot for not a ton of pay. So women who do it, they have a lot of common characteristics. But the biggest thing is that no reputable surrogacy agency is going to take a woman who’s not in it because her heart is in it. Every surrogacy agency out there should be screening women and making sure that this is something that she’s doing for more altruistic reasons than monetary reasons. So the women who do it are women with big hearts who feel like, I’ve had my babies and I want to help somebody else have a baby. There are lots of couples out there who, for whatever reason, can’t have a child on their own. And so they, these women find it in their heart and they, besides that, this is something, a gift basically that they want to give to another couple. So the women who become surrogates are really very, very special people. It’s something where both partners have to be a hundred percent on board and you go through a lot of screening processes and make sure that your pregnancies for yourself were healthy and uncomplicated. We want to make sure that your BMI is within a certain range and that really just has to do with, because you’re undergoing IVF. We want to make sure that the IVF cycle is going to have the highest likelihood of being successful. So, there’s some screening processes, you do undergo a psychological evaluation so that a trained professional can make sure that you understand what you’re really getting yourself into. And, you know, there’s a lot of emotions that come along with it too. One of the common misconceptions out there I would say is that the woman gets attached to the baby. Obviously, you’re going to have an attachment to a baby that you’re carrying in your womb, but gestational surrogacy means that the woman, the carrier is not genetically, related to the child. So it’s a donor egg, or the mother’s egg, whatever the case may be, it can vary. But, it’s not her egg, so she’s not genetically related to that child. And then all of the legal aspects are taken care of. Well before any contracts are signed, well before any, obviously a pregnancy happens. And so everything is already laid out and in place. And the woman going into it to be a surrogate knows this is not my child. So, that’s one of the biggest misconceptions I would say. Is she gonna not want to give the child up? And the surrogates that I’ve talked to, they love handing the baby over. Or not even necessarily handing the baby, they love knowing that the actual parents are the first ones to hold that baby, once that baby is born. So it’s really a beautiful, beautiful process. And it’s a gift from one human being to another.
Blaise Hunter: [00:20:55] That’s amazing. And that’s good to kind of answer some of those questions, like you said, if it does go by beneath the surface a little bit, it’s a little bit more taboo and we just need to kind of feel that back and keep it up to the forefront of, it is a viable option. It is something that a person can volunteer or get involved in to be the surrogate or as an option to build your own family and be educated, research. It may not be the option for you. You might want to go a different route, but definitely look at all of the options out there. And I know you’re in the U S. I’m in Canada, so the processes are different. I don’t think we can get paid in Canada here. Right? But can you walk us through a little bit, like if people are interested in learning more about surrogacy, can they contact you? What is your 4 Months to Fertile process?
September Burton: Yeah, my, program that I offer the nutrition program is offered through Hawaii surrogacy. And so that’s really to kind of help surrogates be as healthy as possible when they’re starting the process, Hawaii Surrogacy pays for their surrogates to go through that program. So that’s free, if you do decide to become a surrogate for them. A lot of intended parents come from Canada because altruistic surrogacy is the only way that you can be a surrogate in Canada. The same is true for like the UK, Australia, New Zealand, places like that. Hawaii Surrogacy actually attracts a lot of intended parents from those places. And that’s why it’s because in those countries, surrogacy is, you can’t be paid to be a surrogate. So really the process, if you wanted to reach out to me, if you’re interested in becoming a surrogate, yes. Please feel free to reach out to me, you can also just go to the Hawaii surrogacy website and fill out the initial application there, and then someone will be in touch with you and start the screening process. The entire process, the start to finish takes about 18 months to two years because you’ve gotta go through the screening and then you’ve got to go through the medical procedures and all of that kind of stuff. Then you’ve got your nine months of pregnancy and then of course the postpartum period of recovery. So yeah, it’s something that if you intended to go through it and become a surrogate, you would want to plan on about 18 months to two years and same for the intended parents. So, that’s about the timeline that you would expect if you decided to go into the process of becoming a surrogate.
Blaise Hunter: [00:23:27] That’s really good to know. Like I know nothing about it. It’s something my husband and I haven’t considered just because people often ask me so, would you consider adoption or surrogacy? And I’m also dealing with a rare health condition and dealing with fighting for my life and ups and downs. And my heart has been hurt so much with the, the grief of three miscarriages. I feel at this point, I just don’t want to open another portal of rejection or time that could end up in disappointment or struggle. So I’ve held back, but I haven’t really investigated. So I’m really glad we’re talking about this today because it does give me light on the subject and options and something that I could use down the line. And I think that’s what we want to give people is information. There is other routes. There are other ways to be fertile.
September Burton: [00:24:22] Absolutely. And if you want to have a child at this point in time, there, there are so many options available out there. One of the other options that I love that I don’t have anything personally to do with, but I just learned about this because of the Colorado Fertility Conference was embryo adoption. Are you familiar with that concept yet?
Blaise Hunter: [00:24:43] No, not at all.
September Burton: [00:24:44] So embryo adoption is basically, a lot of these couples who are going through IVF procedures right now. And so they fertilize several embryos. And then when they, it comes time to transfer the embryos, they may have fertilized seven, eight embryos, but they only want one, two or three children in their family. And then they feel their family is complete. And so the question becomes, what do we do with these other embryos? They’ve already been fertilized. They’re just sitting in a freezer basically. So, the agencies, have come in and they’re embryo adoption agencies and they will match these embryos with couples who need to use donor eggs and donor sperm. And then they implant the embryo into the mother. And so mothers are actually giving birth to their own adopted children, which is quite remarkable. When you think about it.
Blaise Hunter: [00:25:36] Oh, yes. Oh, that’s amazing. I love to see that we’re coming up with unique ways to still encourage fertility and unique aspects that we wouldn’t have thought even 10 years ago. It’s amazing that we’re developing this much and giving people options to build their family.
Blaise Hunter: [00:25:57] I often talk about my three miscarriages. And even though I’ve struggled to birth another baby, I am not barren. And we are mothers of purpose and alternative pregnancy surrogacy. It’s so beautiful. And it gives women an opportunity to carry somebody’s dreams. I just want to kind of dive in deeper on this alternative thought process of being pregnant and being a surrogate of dreams and how we can, create a culture of showing support unity, standing in proxy to help each others dreams come to fruition, whether it’s physical babies or our purpose, and maybe what are, what are your, some of your thoughts on that?
September Burton: [00:26:38] I think that’s such a beautiful way of saying it. We meet women every day who just simply are not interested in having children. That’s not what they’re interested in in life. Raising children just isn’t part of their life path. And these women, I admire them so much! They’re strong and they, not that mothers aren’t, but they just, they know who they are are. I think that they inspire those of us who were, like me, raised very, very religious and taught that you’re going to become a mom. Like that’s just, you’re a woman, that’s your path in life. And so I think that the women who choose not to have children. Are an inspiration in a lot of different ways for what else can be birthed out of us. Because as women, we are really, really at a point in history right now, where we’re coming into our power. Something that I don’t think we ever truly realized before is how powerful we really are and how we can give birth to ideas, to businesses to, so many different things and what is happening in this world right now, because women are waking up and because women are becoming aware of our power. I think one of the biggest components of that is us supporting each other. When we kind of go behind each other’s backs and do the fighting over men kind of nonsense that, I mean, I’ve done for a long time. All that does is bring everybody down and when we support each other, My God, the miracles that happen, my personal journey has been, has involved some abuse and I lived in a women’s shelter in Hawaii, actually for a couple of months, and the women there, we healed together and we supported each other and we still are supporting and healing together. And, the power, the magic that is born of us lifting each other up and encouraging each other is just it’s it’s beyond words. Really. It’s just beyond words.
Blaise Hunter: [00:28:43] Oh, that’s beautiful. And yet that’s part of my mission too, is to really incorporate, having a different outlook on being a mother because you know, some people want to be a mother, some people are struggling, some people are done having kids. Some people are in their, you know, senior citizen years and, we often think of just being a mother as physically birthing a child. And they say, it doesn’t matter what stage of life you are in. We are still all called to be mothers in our own way, and we can’t stop the nurturing phase or the surrogacy phase of helping, of being in proxy and nurture somebody else’s dreams and destiny. Cause we’re a part of that. And women are a part of that. I think we need to bring that all together that we need unity. We need to work together and I need to lift up my sister because she’s going to lift me up when I need it. And we are stronger and you’re going to be a better world when we support. For each other’s dreams rather than it’s just about me. And we need to get back to that culture that it takes a village and all women need to be supporting of that. And like you said, what an amazing, powerful thing when women start to stand in proxy for one another.
September Burton: [00:29:57] Yeah. One of the things I realized during my nutrition training as well, what happens to women when they hit menopause is it’s really quite fascinating because before menopause, a lot of your energy every single day, month. is taken out by producing a lining for the uterus and then shedding that lining. That’s a lot of energy that’s required to do that every single month. That’s the energy of life. That’s the energy of birth right there. Whether you’re getting pregnant or not, is not relevant to what the energy is, that’s what the essence of the energy is. And so after a woman goes through menopause and she stops that cycle and she has all of this energy, all of a sudden to give birth to other things it’s amazing what happens to women. This is when women become painters and poets and this is when women truly, truly start to step into their power in a very different way, and in a way that they’re able to look outward towards the world a little bit more and say, let me use it this energy that I used to use in my own body and now I’m going to project it out to the world and sort of give birth to other things out in the world and be an example, and be somebody who inspires other women. And so menopause, it’s actually a beautiful, beautiful time in life. You know, culturally, we kind of look at these things that women go through and it’s not very highly looked upon to go through menopause.
Blaise Hunter: [00:31:30] We don’t want to talk about that.
September Burton: [00:31:31] Yeah, exactly. But really it’s just a shift in energy. And what, and it’s just magical what starts to happen to women and what they’re able to contribute to the world all of a sudden after they go through that process.
Blaise Hunter: [00:31:45] Oh, absolutely. And like, you’re not infertile and dried up, it’s a different channel of fertility. And like you said, it’s where women, find other pockets of their talents and their interests. And a prime example of when I do a fertility talks and some of the ladies in the fifties, sixties and seventies were like, Oh, I don’t know if I’ll even resonate with that. I’m like you just wait, you can’t retire from your purpose or being a mother just because you’re in your sixties or hit menopause. You still have purpose. You still are a mother. You still have a responsibility to nurture future generations. To walk in their destiny and their purpose. And my mom is gonna be retiring soon. She’s a teacher and she’s like, I’m feeling like I’m going to be barren. All I know is being teacher for like 50 years, right. Like She’s having issues, trying to find that and navigate that and, and being okay. How does she shift that into a new destiny, a new purpose, a new motherhood. And I think we need to talk about that. You’re not going to be done that like 60 or 40 or whatever you hit menopause or whenever you were retiring, like you still can be a mother and, and lean into that.
September Burton: [00:33:04] Yeah. And you can still be a mother in so many different ways. Like we’ve been talking about, you can reach out to your friend’s children. You can reach out to your grandchildren, you can reach out to your nieces and nephews, There are children everywhere. So if that’s where your heart is and that’s what you want to continue to do, there are so many different ways to do that. But if you want to turn your attention to something else, some other creative outlet, because the energy of fertility is a creative energy. I mean, you’re creating life. So it’s the ultimate creative energy. And so if you want to shift that energy into being creative in a different way then that’s such a beautiful and admirable thing to do. And I think that the process of menopause is like you’re talking about where she’s not sure what she’s going to do. She feels barren because she’s been in the classroom for so long, but that piece is okay too. Like that, that piece of wondering and sitting there kind of, it’s a beautiful time because you kind of get to be quiet and you kind of get to go inside and say, you know, okay, I’m not going to be in the classroom anymore. Where do I want to go? And that’s a, that’s a lovely time to birth your idea for the next phase of your life. So even that process right there is still giving birth. And then once you start to act on that, And actually move into whatever the next piece of your life is going to be. Then there’s another birth process happening there. And so that’s what we do as women is we’re just constantly giving birth.
Blaise Hunter: [00:34:35] Oh, I love this conversation because it really takes the aspect of fertility and stretches it to so many other pockets of our life. And not just a one dimension, not just birthing a physical baby, but so many other things as women, we need to celebrate this fertility aspect of our whole life, friends who are alive, the creativity, the womanhood, the intuition, you know joy, joy is part of the fertility. And if we’re lacking in joy and we’re stressed and we’re dehydrating ourselves of joy then that creates infertility in all parts of our life and our passions and our how we accept life, how we enjoy life and how we create life right?
September Burton: [00:35:16] Yeah, absolutely. And that’s one of the things that is a little bit of a taboo topic in the world of infertility is the whole find joy in something else. And then many, many, many couples ended up getting pregnant because they’ve kind of turned their focus away from the, the strict, we need to have sex at this time and we need to be specific foods and all of those kinds of things. And if they turn their attention away from that, and I’m not saying any of those things are bad, I’m just saying it’s a common thing where when people turn their attention away from that and they start living life again, and they go back to what they love and they go back to ordering a glass of wine with dinner or eating sushi, or things like that. Then that suddenly provides a shift too. And a lot of couples when they do that, that’s when they do end up getting pregnant. And that’s why it’s because they’re giving birth to their life again.
Blaise Hunter: [00:36:13] And you’re right. It is a little bit of a taboo topic because speaking from my own experience when someone tells you, Oh, just don’t stress about it it’ll happen when you don’t dress. And you’re like, shut up. You know, I’ve heard that. Yeah. And, but it is, you have to look at it a different way.Yeah. Stressful. Yes. It’s always going to be there and don’t ignore that stress or that is there. I want something and it’s not working out it’s reality, but if you can start enjoying a little bit of your life without the stress and just saying, you know, and that’s what happened with my husband and I share this a lot with my talks is like my third miscarriage. I woke up in the middle of the night bleeding and I’m sitting there crying in our bedroom being like, this is our third. Loss, and I don’t know how I’m going to do this. And he just looked at me and he’s like, we can do this. Our life is still okay. We have each other, we do have a daughter. Our life is still okay. And when you can get, take yourself out of that stress and anxiety and overwhelm, and worry of like what you don’t have and just. Bring it back to being present and saying, I do have a good life still. And take pause in that and appreciate that there you find a little bit of a less stress and release the death grip on what you’re not getting out of life. And then therefore you can create joy and appreciate the life you do have, right.
September Burton: [00:37:37] Yeah, for sure. And one of the things that we’re starting to learn more and more lately with research and psychology is that infertility and things like what you’re talking about with your miscarriage. I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. One of the things that we’re learning through psychology is that it’s actually, it is a trauma and it is processed as a trauma and with my personal experience with abuse and things like that, when you, you learn that you can’t heal in the same environment that you got sick in. And when I say sick, I don’t mean sick. I mean, trauma, you can’t heal from a trauma in the same environment that caused your trauma. So stepping away from the idea of getting pregnant for a little while is actually kind of a healing thing for your brain. And for those pathways that really need an opportunity to heal. Sometimes you have to step away from it. Sometimes you have to give yourself that space and that creates healing for you.
Blaise Hunter: [00:38:41] You’re so right. And talking about the trauma, whether it’s years of infertility and disappointments and those negative pregnancy tests, that’s a trauma in itself. And then if you go with a loss, like a miscarriage, whether it’s at two weeks or 39 weeks it’s still a trauma and everybody grieves differently. So, it might be very traumatic for one person and not as bad for the next. And we have to honor that each person has that experience and is going to go through that process uniquely. And you know, it’s just about talking about this and saying, this may be a trauma for you, what do you need to feel better? Lean into it. Don’t mask it don’t say, you know what, I’m just, I’m doing it. I’m going to have this baby. Cause I think women, we are so good at this of like tunnel vision on what we want and we’re doers. So it’s like, I want that baby. And I’m going to spend the next four years, like. Yeah, doing it right. And no matter if all these troubles and setbacks, and then it causes the strain on your relationship that you’re like, no, I want my baby. And I did that. I was guilty of that. Like, yeah, I didn’t want to have sex with my husband. I wanted a baby from him. And so we lost the love part and the connection because I got so focused on the task. So it’s all encompassing of how you can be fertile in your life, even going through infertility and shifting perspective and shifting focus and infusing some joy into life again, to create room, to create life.
September Burton: [00:40:13] Yeah, absolutely. I love the way that you just said that I didn’t want to have sex with my husband and I wanted him to give me a baby. That’s such a, a good way to say it because you do stop the intimacy sort of goes away and that’s something that you don’t want to lose that because this is going to be your partner in raising your child. And so you’ve got to hold on to that and figure out how to get away from the trauma. How do we get away from the pain and how to get away from the go go, go? Like you’re saying with women, we get something in our minds and we’re just like, I’m going to do this and I’m going to make this happen. But, there’s that soft, nurturing side to us too. And, and are you honoring that soft, nurturing side? Are you allowing yourself to be nurtured? And so those are some of the questions kind of ask yourself.
Blaise Hunter: [00:41:01] And, just really opening up to a different way of thinking and birthing things. Like I birthed a new relationship with my husband. He did say, you’re just using me as a sperm bank and that crushed me cause I love him. So like we had to take a step back and be like, how do we connect? And it’s not about just having sex when I’m ovulating, it’s about having sex because we love each other and we’re together and how to birth love again, how to birth. I’m appreciating that I do have a daughter rather than grieving the one that I didn’t have and birthing my book out of this. I would never have birthed it without going through infertility and loss and birthing my business, and this podcast, and having this conversation with you. So you need to shift the focus that even though you are infertile in maybe one aspect of your life, you’re still able to be fertile in another way and hone in on that because it will create fertility and love and joy throughout the rest of your life. And it just is such an amazing way to look at it versus looking at it in a negative
September Burton: [00:42:05] Yeah. What you’re saying is so interesting right now, because actually right before we got on this call I was reading, I think it was on the American psychological association website, I was reading an article about resiliency. And one of the things that they’re talking about with resiliency is that you look for the gifts. You look for the blessings. What is the silver lining in this situation? And, for you, going back to, Oh, I’m so grateful that I have a daughter rather than grieving the daughter that you didn’t have, it seems like that in the book and the podcast, everything that you just said is, that’s what resiliency is. And that’s what pulls you out of trauma and into a greater space of living and being able to birth other things, if that’s your path or a baby, if that’s your path.
Blaise Hunter: [00:42:52] Exactly. I’m really loving this conversation with you. You have so much knowledge and we’re talking about soul nutrition there in this last little bit, but you also have a physical nutrition for the body to get you fertile. You have this 4 Months to Fertile plan. Like what does that all include?
September Burton: [00:43:11] So the plan, the 4 Months to Fertile actually evolved into that six week clean eating plan. So the 4 Months to Fertile, the reason that I called it, that is because in Chinese medicine they see the fertility organs as the liver, the spleen, the kidneys, and the heart, rather than, what you would think of as the uterus and those things. So in the 4 Months to Fertile program that I used to do, it was about spending a month on each of those different organs and really focusing on them and nurturing and nourishing them. But now, that’s kind of evolved into the six week clean eating program. Just so that I could spend more time focused on my own family, but that was the premise of that. And one of the things…we keep talking about the emotional health and the acceptance and the resiliency and things like that. And that’s such a huge part of the, the six week clean eating plan is only one tiny little aspect of your fertility journey. And it’s an important aspect. And obviously it’s where my passion lies so that’s why that’s the piece that I did, but there are so many other modalities out there are so many other ways to look at things. And, you know, obviously putting it out there available through a surrogacy agency helps to encourage people to look at other options. So, I think this has been a great conversation about some of those other alternative practices and if you’re looking for figuring out what some of those other alternative practices are. I mean, go talk to an acupuncturist, talk to a chiropractor, talk to a nutritionist, talk to all of those different people that will point you in different directions. If somebody says this is the route that you need to take and this is the only route then that’s probably not the person who’s actually going to help you get to where you want to go. And following your intuition too is every bit as important. And I believe that more than any other practitioner out there you know what your body needs, you know if acupuncture is the right route for you, you know if chiropractic care is the right route for you. So one of the pieces that I try to teach is intuition and women, we are gifted with intuition, but we live in a society that does not value intuition. And in fact, tries to put intuition down. So. Getting back to your intuition, honoring your intuition. And that goes along with just being quiet inside of yourself, closing your eyes and asking yourself, asking your body, what is it that is going to get me to where I’m actually trying to go.
That’s beautifully said. Thank you so much. This has just been such an honor and a great conversation and dialogue to have about getting pregnant and being fertile in my life. Different aspects of that. And if people are interested in learning more about you or are wanting to learn more, what you can offer them or just information, where can they go? What’s next for you? What are you up to?
September Burton: [00:46:19] So you can always find my program at Hawaiisurrogacy.com/nutrition. That’s where you go to find it. If you want to work personally with me and I’ll just reach out to me. Just reach out and I’m here for you. I love, I love supporting women. That’s really, my calling in life is to support women to become more of a tribe and to learn how to take care of each other.
Blaise Hunter: [00:47:06] thank you so much just to recap what we talked about today, alternative end of pregnancy, how we can build a family and have a different perspective on what that looks like for each of us uniquely in our situation, how food for the soul and body can aid in the fertility journey, how we can be a surrogate of dreams and really rely on our intuition and be fertile in our lives. And just create love, enjoy, and build up the sisterhood of women to support one another and nurturers of dreams and surrogate of dreams. So this has just been a wonderful conversation. Thank you so much September for coming on and having this unique dialogue with me.
September Burton: [00:47:46] Yeah, thank you, Blaise. This was truly an honor.
Blaise Hunter: [00:47:53] Wonderful. So if you want to learn more about my consulting programs, purchase my book or have me speak at your next event, please visit blaisehunter.com. I do have a free offer for everybody. If you go to my website, click on the free offers tab. There’s a video there. It’s called map your life. For finding peace and balance in the day. And a 10 minute video, we can get you back from overwhelm and anxiety and lead you back to a place of peace and balance. Cause when we get lost, when we’re driving, we Google maps that stuff. So let’s go to the map for our life. Find some piece of melons in our day and get there. Back to being the hero of our lives. Thanks so much September for joining us on the show and that’s it for this week’s episode, challenge yourself to be vulnerable, leaning to the difficulties and have those open conversations so we can rise up as the heroes of our lives and let us breathe fire together.