When I first realized that I was dealing with someone with narcissistic personality disorder I wanted to learn what I could about narcissism. Before this experience I believed that a narcissist was someone who took too many selfies and looked in the mirror too much (interestingly, I always found it odd during the relationship that whenever a mirror was around he would look past me and watch himself in the mirror). So, I picked up a few books on narcissism and started reading. The first two were great and taught me a lot about what I was dealing with and what he would be throwing at me later. But the 3rd one was incredibly difficult for me to get through and after a few weeks of trying to read it, I realized my emotional state had gone down quite a bit. Finally, my therapist suggested to me that maybe it was time to stop reading this book. I did, and soon started to feel better.
What I realized later, as I was trying to figure out why that book had that affect on my emotions, was that it was because the author was still angry and the book was written in an angry tone. Because of that book and the realization about the authors anger I decided that I was going to wait to tell my story until the anger subsided some and I could speak from a place of wanting to help lift others who are going through a similar experience.
I would be completely full of shit if I said there was no anger in me at all at this point, but it’s pretty minimal.
My purpose in this blog and in sharing my story is to show you that I understand the pain and the hell you’re experiencing because I have lived it. To this day, I’m still living in hiding.
I’m trying to get my story out quickly so that I can soon turn most of my focus to being uplifting and inspiring. Some people get stuck in their stories but I don’t think that leads to helping the world heal. Your story is important but it’s only the bridge that gets you across to a better place. It’s not where you want to stay.
Stand tall, speak, and tell your story, yes. But then keep moving. Don’t let yourself get stuck. This is my hope for myself and also for you.
My story is definitely a “you can’t make this shit up” type of story. There will be more posts and podcast and/or YouTube interviews but my hope is that anyone listening is strengthened and inspired by the “coming through to the other side” part of my story. The abuser is only one tiny piece of what makes me who I am. He doesn’t get to take up anymore space than being a tiny piece that led me to a better place.
If you need a place to share your story, send me an email and I’ll post it for you, if it’s a good fit for this blog.